“I had an affair with my best friend’s husband.”

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Becoming the maid of honour

About a year and a half later, Philip proposed to Kimberly at her favourite Italian place. Kimberly was so excited, she said yes even before Philip managed to pop the question. The crowd cheered gleefully and everyone congratulated the couple. The whole time, as I stood there, I could not help but feel a little heartbroken and pathetic about myself. That was the moment I realised that I had fallen for him. I knew I could have had him, but I gave him to my best friend instead.

The night before the wedding, Philip called me to confess that he was having cold feet and wasn’t sure if he loved Kimberly enough to spend the rest of his live with her. I assured him that both of them make the perfect pair and that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Before we ended the call, Philip murmured into his mouthpiece, “Do you know that even until now, I still can’t get you off my mind?” I hung up without replying him.

We pretended nothing had happened the night before and proceeded with the wedding. Philip and Kimberly’s wedding was one of the most beautiful I’ve been to. It was a garden setting with fairy lights romancing the space. The aisles were showered with rose petals in different shades, and most importantly, the married couple had the time of their lives. Watching them dancing to their favourite love song made my heart swell. I kept mentally replaying the words he’d said last night and telling myself that he’s a married man now, and there’s nothing I can do anymore.

We meet again

I quit my job shortly afterwards. A company in Hong Kong offered me a position with higher pay and I needed a reason to leave all this behind. So one month later, I packed my bags, bid farewell to my old life and started fresh in a foreign country. Kimberly told me that Philip quit his job a couple of months after I did, but I didn’t bother to ask for the reason or contact him.

In December 2012, I got a call from Philip. He told me that he had been relocated to Hong Kong for two years and asked if I could recommend a place for him to stay. My neighbour was looking for a roommate at the time, so I asked him to apply for it. One month later, he moved in next door.

Since he was all alone in Hong Kong, he spent most of his time with me. I wasn’t comfortable around him at first, because part of me was still in love with him, but as time went by, we fell back into our old ways. But despite being close to him again, we never once touched on the subject of our feelings.

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