He’s the love of your life and you want him to be the best he can be. Well, you can play a big role in empowering your husband to realise his full potential. Here’s how.
BE A POSITIVE COMMUNICATOR
A positive affirmer builds trust and love towards her spouse by recognising and highlighting good character traits; a negative communicator is critical and dismissive. However, this support and encouragement must also come across as sincere if it is to be effective. Take time to hear about his day, and acknowledge it with phrases like, “That must have been really difficult for you. I’m glad some good came out of that mess.
DON’T COMPARE HIM WITH OTHER MEN
Never list another man’s attributes to underscore your husband’s weak traits, even if in jest or in retort. By comparing him to others and critiquing him, it comes across as a judgment that he’s falling short of your expectations. It diminishes his self-worth and sends the message that he is not cherished or respected. Use phrases like “I like it when you are so thoughtful,” instead of “I wish you were like so-and-so who is so thoughtful.” Hopefully, your husband will get the hint and rise to the challenge of his marital responsibilities and your expectations.
SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
With our pressure-cooker lifestyles, the stress of work and family may eat into precious couple-bonding time. However, spending quality time with your husband signals to him that you enjoy his company and appreciate his presence. Doing things together helps foster stronger social and emotional intimacy, which is an integral part of a fulfilling marriage. Even if you don’t share the same interests as your husband, supporting his passions shows that you have a vested interest in his personal happiness, and is an indication of your love for him.
BE A GOOD LISTENER
Men process their hurt through methodical and reflective steps. When your husband confides in you, he’s likely to be looking for a listening ear rather than someone to solve his problems. In listening, it’s important not to judge or jump to quick solutions. Likewise, don’t recycle his past failures and pain just to prove you’re right with your prognosis. Be quick to listen and slow to judge – your husband needs to know that he can trust you with his vulnerable moments.
ACCEPT AND ACKNOWLEDGE WHEN YOU HAVE DONE WRONG
When you accept responsibility for a bad decision or a mistake, it shows that you are mature enough to understand that reconciliation is the key to a successful marriage. Such transparency speaks highly of you as a spouse of integrity and grace. Instead of brushing the problem aside as something minor, apologise immediately when you make a mistake.
BE MORE AFFECTIONATE
Spousal intimacy through loving, affirmative touches doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sex all the time. Being affectionate gives your husband the assuring comfort of being loved and nurtured. When your children see you and your husband being affectionate towards each other, it demonstrates to them the key ingredients of a strong marriage which are – mutual respect, trust and honour. A daily good-bye kiss or even holding hands with your husband when you are out are some examples of simple but loving gestures that can go a long way in fostering a happy marriage.