Are you guilty of these?
When you’re with someone, it makes sense that you would do everything you can to keep your relationship happy and healthy. But of course, nobody is perfect, and sometimes you may end up doing things that sabotage your relationship — and you don’t even realize you’re doing them.
Dysfunction in romantic relationships can take many forms and can look very different with different couples
Here are the biggies to look out for:
You badmouth your partner to others
Sure, it makes sense that you’d want to vent to a girlfriend after you have a bad fight, but repeatedly complaining about your partner to other people isn’t a good thing.
Not only would your partner be hurt if they knew, regularly saying bad things about your S.O. paints a negative picture in the minds of your friends and family that may not be accurate — and that can come back to haunt you in the future.
You can’t get over the past
Defo one of the most common ones.
Hurt and betrayal from a past relationship can be particularly impactful and can often influence new relationships . Hence, unrealistic assumptions and inappropriate emotional reactions.
Reactions that are rooted in the past and related to a past relationship, but triggered by an event or behaviour in a new relationship almost always cause trouble and dysfunction.
You get defensive
Disagreements happen, and if your partner raises an issue with you, it’s important to at least hear them out. Being defensive, on the other hand, is the opposite of that.
Defensiveness doesn’t allow your partner to feel heard and if your partner doesn’t feel like they’re being heard, it’s probably going to lead to more fighting.
Criticisms > praise
It’s an easy trap to fall into: You only speak up when you disagree with something your partner says or does, but forget to do the same when they do something great.
Not letting your partner know you are grateful for small things… can cause issues.
You brush off partner’s vulnerabilities
Everyone feels vulnerable on some level and sensitive about particular topics.
But not understanding your partner’s preferences, vulnerabilities and sensitive spots — chronically pushing those buttons — is a recipe for disaster.
If you realize you’re accidentally sabotaging your relationship, it’s time to do something about it.