There’s no beating around the busy with it – marriage is hard work. It doesn’t just end at ‘I do’ and it’s by no means a guarantee of a ‘happily ever after’. In fact, most marriages fall apart simply because partners forget the important rule of communicating. Here, we remind you of four important tips to grow your marriage from strength to strength:
You can go to bed angry
We know all too well the golden rule of not going to bed angry at your significant half. It’s a good rule to have and we can understand why it’s reiterated far too often. Yes, if problems can be resolved before the both of you hit the sack, kudos to you! But far too often, you can’t resolve certain issues within a given time period – adhering to the rule means you’re accelerating the process just for the sake of kissing up and making up – which can be dangerous. This could lead to other areas of the issue unaddressed, which merely means it will crop up again. Or worse, resentment could build in the long run! More importantly, if you know you are the sort of person who lets slip the most hurtful words that can never be retracted, it’s best to hold your tongue. Sleep on your anger and when you wake the next day, tell your partner that you’d like to discuss the issue now that you can think with a calmer mind.
Think of sex as something exciting
After awhile, sex can seem like an obligation or duty to fulfil – more often than not, you’ll return home exhausted, looking to crawl into bed ASAP. However, sex is an important part of marriage and can bring both parties closer together – which is why we are strong advocates of scheduling sex in – even if it seems to be the least spontaneous and sexiest thing to do. More importantly, stop yourself from falling into the rut that marriage sex should be boring. It’s up to you to make the most of it and make sure your mental game is just as on point as everything else you do to set up for a steamy night. We can assure you, nothing will turn your partner on faster than seeing your enthusiasm while getting it on.
Write down the happy times with your partner
Arguments will be inevitable – whether small or big. But instead of dwelling on the negative (although issues must be addressed), keep a notebook and scribble down all the good deeds your partner has done for you. It can be something as small as how he gets you your morning coffee before work or how he dropped everything just to be by your side when he needed you most – what matters most is that you’re recording down what it is you love about your partner. When filled with annoyance or blinded by anger, pop this book up and remind yourself not to be overly-critical of him – there are many things to love as well. A slip-up should not erase all the good done before this.
Pay for your partner
Of course, many couples generally don’t fuss about the lines that segregates their finances after marriage – “what’s yours is mine.” That’s fine and all, but do make it a point to take your partner out for a nice dinner – it doesn’t even have to be a particularly fancy date night. It can be trying out coffee at a new place or maybe a pampering day out at the spa. The point is that you offer to pay for it – that gesture might seem small and inconsequential but it will speak volumes as to how you’d still like to make your other half feel special and taken care of.