10 ways to a happier marriage

Whether you’re a newly-wed or recently celebrated your 20th anniversary, the principles of a happy relationship remain the same.

 

 

 

Photo credit: www.smartreads.org

 

1.       Choice of suitable partner

 

A successful marriage must begin with picking well. A lot of people choose badly. They want an idealised partner. Studies of divorce rates suggest that couples who are less likely to divorce are those with a similar upbringing, who share a sense of humour and have a moral or religious framework in common.

 

2.       Common goals and values

 

There may be things that you and your partner disagree on, but you have to agree on the basic moral principles. It is also important for your partner and you to have similar goals in life.

 

3.       Commitment to growth

 

Change is an inevitable part of a couple’s life together: change of work situation, financial status and the biggest one of all – becoming a family. When big changes come, couples who don’t adapt may be letting their relationship end in an early death.

 

4.       Sexual fulfilment

 

Changes are also inevitable in the important area of sexuality. When the passion fades, it is often replaced with a potentially less thrilling relationship. It is important to be alert and sensitive to the other person’s sexual needs and feelings.

 

5.       Agreement on gender roles

 

It doesn’t matter who does what, the most important thing is that no one is forced to carry an unfair burden.

 

6.       Creative use of conflict

 

Problems are obstacles to be crossed to move on to the next phase. No matter how much you love each other, you have to work at it. Use this time to understand each other better and to voice out anything that you’re dissatisfied with.

 

7.       Co-operation & Teamwork

 

There’s a lot of luck in a successful marriage, but if there’s one thing couples need to learn, it’s to try harder and work at it. You’ve got to be prepared to give and take.

 

8.       Money Management

 

Poor management of money is sure to put any marriage under a lot of strain. Budgeting and sticking to it is of prime importance. Make it a point that no serious financial decisions are made by one partner alone.

 

9.       Affection & Appreciation

 

It’s not always about flowers and poems, but more about everyday gestures which say you value your partner. No one can expect to maintain the same level of emotional, sexual and romantic love that was present during courtship, but we can grow in love and consideration.

 

10.   Communication Skills

 

Think before you speak. Think back to before you were married. Somehow everything you said to your loved one had a positive ring about it. What has changed? Why should married life equal cynicism? It is often the things we say and the way we treat each other that really matters.

 

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