The truth is, marriage is not easy. It take a lot of dedication, compromise and commitment to maintain the relationship. Here, we share the 10 secrets to a successful marriage
SHED OFF ‘MISS CAPABLE’
An ultra-confident woman leaves a man to think you can be left to your own devices when it comes to hammering a nail right up to fixing that leaky sink. Don’t let him know you’re capable! He’ll be happy to plat the hero saving the damsel in distress.
ALL IN THE TIMING
Don’t ask your man to work on the house when you know he’s tied up with a deadline at the office or had a rough week at work.
‘BY THE WAY’ CONVERSATION
While shopping for groceries try a casual remark such as, ‘Oh, by the way, the hinges on the pantry door have come off. I would appreciate it so if you could take a quick look at it when we get home while I sort out the groceries’.
Giving him ample warning makes him feel he is appreciated and that you respect him as an individual. And a forewarning for the lady requesting for help: it is taboo to bring up how badly he did the last job of fixing the leak at the kitchen sink.
GIVE HIM TIME TO SINK IN FACTS
Tell him how exhausted you are and how you could do with a foot message and a back rub the way only he can do it. DOn’t forget to thank him for it now. If you are fortunate enough, he may cook dinner or wash the dishes too for you once he has been put in a good mood.
BE RECEPTIVE TO HIS IDEAS
We can’t always have things our way. When we have asked for his help, we will have to accept his input too and realisr that to get your man to get the job done, you will have to bear with and welcome his ideas and thoughts too.
BITE YOUR TONGUE SOMETIMES
Do not criticise your man for the work he has done. Especially not in the midst of doing it or you will have him walking off in a huff, leaving even more mess than when you both started. Even if he has missed a spot, the job has been done and that is what counts.
PATIENCE HAS TO BE THE NAME OF YOUR GAME
He might not want to help you trim the hedges but don’t jump the gun and pout like a child when this happens. Ask him in an understanding manner why he won’t help you this time. Give him a hug and say “perhaps the next time”.
TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT
If all else fails and you really feel that he is not doing his share, a heart-to-heart talk might be due. Tell him in a non-condescending manner that you are feeling overwhelmed by all the work around the house. Leave out all the accusations and the ‘you never lift a finger, you lazy so-and-so!’ That should be the last thing you ever want to resort to.
A TO-DO LIST
This could be a long shot. Putting up a to-do list on the fridge might get your man to realise what need to be done around the house. If he’s really famished, his eyes might just bypass the note, so a better bet would be placing the note at eye-level – his eye level, that is!